Modern Meaning of Old Words

Etiquette: Learning to yawn with your mouth closed.
Experience: A name given to our mistakes.
Expert: One who knows more and more about less and less.
Good-liar: One who makes truth invisible by the magic of his words.
Greetings: An occasion when you wear a toothpaste smile.
Husband: One who lays down the law to his wife and then accepts all her amendments.
Ignorance: When you don’t know something and somebody else finds it out.
Influence: Something you think you have until you try to use it.
Laughter: The sound you here when you chase your hat down the street.

Lawsuit: Something which no body likes to have and no body likes to loose.
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.